Who's Vicimizing Me Now?

Michael Jackson. Like it wasn't bad enough to have one black-and-white guy on every news channel for a year, now I have to put up with Jackson dying.

Get a clue, newspeople. He lived, he died, move on already. Stop living in the past. Like Jesus said to the Romans - "Stop crucifying me already!"

I don't know what agency is handling the publicity for Jackson's demise, but they're violating the first maxim of showbiz - build to a big finish. Look at how the death of Jesus was handled. Only a couple of Jews cared when he died and then the Church took a few details from his life, mixed them with some boilerplate mythology over the centuries and now Jesus is bigger than the Beatles.

This is why all good Americans hate you media maggots. You gorge on the wounds of the diseased and the corpses of the dead until there's nowhere to go but down. And you're in the bag for Obama.

The Draft Petition

We, the undersigned, call upon Stephen Colbert to run for the office of President of the United States. When others ran from George W. Bush as though he had cooties, Stephen Colbert travelled to Washington and appeared as the keynote speaker at the White House Correspondents' Dinner to show his support. Stephen went to Iraq to join forces with our fighting men and women in the military. His red Wriststrong bracelets have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Yellow Ribbon Fund, helping injured American servicemen and women and their families. Buy Here

Stephen has shown himself to be a God-fearing American and steadfast Republican. His truthiness is beyond reproach. His best-selling autobiography - I Am America and So Can You - inspired a world. He is an award-winning news anchor watched by millions. He tells jokes. Stephen is a renaissance man.

Stephen Colbert is a Great American. He will be a Great President.